I have slept a total of about 5 hours in the last 72. It is not enough, it is nowhere enough.
A combination of nerve pain that wracks my whole body but mostly both of my hands, is the cause, but also there is the inability to shut my brain off, to find that peaceful nothingness that encourages good sleep. I have tried everything from drugs to meditation, but it is beyond that now. I cannot believe how tired you can be and still function, but it is difficult. I am hoping this cannot go on forever, I would be driven mad, if it did....so I will wait patiently and hope that a few hours will come my way soon, and then I will be back into a routine of normal restful sleep every night.
To Sleep
BY JOHN KEATS
O soft embalmer of the still midnight!
Shutting with careful fingers and benign
Our gloom-pleased eyes, embower’d from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine;
O soothest Sleep if so it please thee, close,
In midst of this thine hymn, my willing eyes,
Or wait the amen, ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities;
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes;
Save me from curious conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed casket of my soul.