I have deep frustration of not being able to work the way I want to, Parkinson's Disease is making it very difficult. For example, if the tremors in my hands are under control, then I usually have a strange brain fog that stifles all of my creative thought, in fact it makes even the most basic thought process difficult. There are rare days that I don't have the body or hand tremors and also my thought processing is clear enough to get some work in the studio done, as I say, these days of harmony between the thought and the act are rare.
But...I have decided that I will endeavour to do some studio work, even if I do have the tremors. I will try to cope with the tremors and try to create something, every day, for my own sanity. It is almost impossible to work creatively when my thought process is suffering. When this happens I can stand with a paintbrush in my hand, and have no idea what to do next, it seems the knowledge of how to create, and even the memory of the practical act of painting has left me. At least even with the tremors and a clear head. I can achieve something. At least I can get something out of myself. I have also been able to get my head around what I am able to create while not being exactly what I "see" in my mind, is still a part of me, and I cannot disregard it.
It is merely a new way of thinking and working.
I have learnt to embrace these works.
The very act of creation helps me, and keeps me from sinking into depression, this happens when I don't allow myself to, or cannot work....then the depression escalates, and makes everything worse.
In a perfect world my brain and body would be in synchronicity...in a perfect world I would not have Parkinson's Disease. So I must create what and when I can, for my own peace of mind and sanity.
To this end I have been working on small manageable sized works:
Series in Progress "Skull with Flowers - Célébration de la vie" Medium: oil pastels, ink and oil paint on paper. Image size (each) 19 x 19cms (7.5" x 7.5") I hope you enjoy them.